I Miss Jr.

I Am Always With You

Why did you have to go away and leave your mommy so sad and blue?
I'm right here mommy with you always, I thought you already knew.

How come I can't see you or hold you close to me?
You do see me mommy, you just have to open your eyes and there I'll be.

I'm the sunrise in the morning and the sunset at night.
I'm that star you see in the sky shining oh so bright.

I'm that flower in your yard that bloomed the other day.
I'm the beautiful butterfly you stopped and watch play.

 I'm that soft whisper you hear when no one's around.
I'm the warmth that heals your heart just when you begin to frown.

I'm the colorful rainbow you sometimes see right after a storm.
I'm always near you mommy, I just take many different forms.

I'm in each smile you make and kiss you give away.
I wipe them away with my kisses and help you make it through the day.

We will forever be together this I know for sure.
God sent me to be with you in all that you endure.

Mommy I wish you could see my magical set of wings.
Exquisite soft white feathers made from all of God's loving things.

I wrap them around you bringing comfort and healing.
As I engulf you let go all the pain your heart is feeling.

We meet in your dreams holding hand in hand.
We walk down beaches dragging our feet in the sand.

You also have some friends up here that love you so.
They watch over you where ever you may go.

So when you're feeling sad and blue and think I'm not right here.
Just look around at all the beautiful things and know I am near.

-Author-
Shannon

I found this poem today. Tears running. This poem is so beautiful.

Just Mommy and Caleb

Yesterday, Mike went to Hawaii for MTT. It was a sad morning for me and Caleb. Mike was probably happy to be leaving for Hawaii, lol. Even though it's for work, it's still a vacation to me. It's so weird that Mike isn't here. I hope the next 2 weeks that he's gone go by fast!

Caleb is 2 months and 2 days today. How fast is this going!? I need to take more pictures with my DSLR. It's just so inconvenient because my cell phone is always near me, so I just use that for taking pictures of him.

I've seen so many changes in Caleb over the last month. He is getting so big! I really want to know how much weight he's gained. We'll find out when we go to the doctor on Tuesday for his 2 month check up. Yay! His neck is getting a lot stronger. He holds his head up for a good amount of time now, but it's still funny when he gets too tired and all of a sudden his head goes down! Lol.

Bath time!!

Adorable!

Such a big boy

All ready to take daddy to the airport

First smile captured on camera! This makes me smile every time I look at it!

The most recent family picture we have, taken when my mom came to visit us last month

Lol, Caleb's so funny.

And this was when Mike's mom & brother came to visit us a week before my mom came. Look how tiny he was here and then only a week later he looks so big in the picture before this one! Didn't even notice that until just now!

So anyway, there goes the picture updates. 

Exercise update: I am still not down to pre-pregnancy weight. I still need to lose 7 pounds! I have to start taking walks! I wish I could continue to go to the gym, but since Mike's gone - I can't! I can't wait for him to get back so I can get on the elliptical. The past 3 weeks, I've been doing only weight training, trying to build muscle first before I burn any fat. The next 2 weeks, I'll have to work out at home. The gym on post does have a day care, but we don't want to trust anyone to Caleb. We've heard so many day care horror stories, or babies being sick and getting all the other babies sick too. So, I'll just suck it up and try to do as much as I can by exercising at home. Next week I'm going to start cardio, finally! I usually hate cardio, but I've been dying to do some to burn this damn fat off! Since I have no elliptical or treadmill, I'll have to take Caleb outside and go jogging/walking the old fashioned way!

Formula update: He's been eating about 4-5 ounces per feeding, ever since around 3 weeks. Hungry boy!! Sometimes he'll even eat 6-9 ounces in one feeding, lol. 

Just a little cuteness to end the blog with ;)

Love,

Tiare

A Little Survey To Help The Afternoon Move Along!

About the Mommy:

Hair Color: Black/Brown

Eye Color: Dark brown

Skin Complexion: Medium

Age: 24

First Child?: Nope

About the Daddy:

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Dark brown

Skin Complexion: Deep

First Child?: Nope

Finding Out:

What day did you find out you were pregnant?: May 28th, 2012

How did you feel when you found out?: I was so happy but I didn't want to get my hopes up before it was confirmed. Even then I didn't want to get my hopes up. After losing Jr. I was paranoid.

Who was the first person you told?: Well, Mike.. I think he was there when I took the test? Not sure.

How did he/she/they react?: Mike was happy and surprised, but he felt the same way I did about not getting his hopes up.

Telling the Parents and Grandparents:

How did your parents react?: They were both happy I guess. My mom was happy, but I don't really talk about these kinda things with my dad.. but either way I'm sure he was happy.

How did his parents react?: They were happy too.

Did they help with baby names?: Heck yes. We wanted to get my family's opinion on the names we picked out. Well, at least I wanted their opinion.. lol.

Did they buy anything for the baby?: Yes. Spoiled little boy, lol.

How often did they call and check on you?: I talked to my mom a few times a week, maybe. I updated our moms after every doctor's appointment or ultrasound. They were well informed.

About the Pregnancy:

When was your first appointment?: July 2nd

When was your due date?: February 8, 2013

How far along were you when you gave birth?: 36 weeks 4 days

Pre-pregnancy weight?: 135 lbs

Weight now?: I'm 142 lbs. I want to get down to 125 lbs.
How many ultrasounds did you have?: I'm not sure. I had a few.
What was your favorite part of getting ultrasounds?: Hearing his heartbeat.

About the Delivery:

Did you videotape it? Um, no. No one needs to see that, lol.
Did you allow anyone in the room?: We don't live near family or friends. It was just my husband there, but I would've been fine with my mom being in there. That's it.
Medications or natural?: Natural!
C-Section? Water Birth? Natural?: Natural vaginal birth.
Did you cry when you held your baby for the first time?: I didn't, surprisingly. I wonder why? I did with Jr. though.
Did daddy cry?: Um, yes.
Were you scared about the labor?: No, I was just scared of going into preterm labor.. which I did. Thankfully not TOO early!

Names:

Is your baby named after someone?: Just his middle name, Amana. Named after my great grandfather & dad.
Name: Caleb! :)

Love,
Tiare

Middle of March??

Really? Almost the middle of March already? It really doesn't seem possible.

I am both excited and nervous. Lately I started thinking about all of the crap I have to get done in the next 3 months!! I have to email more companies about jobs before we move back to Vegas. I just updated my LinkedIn profile yesterday. I still need to finish updating my online portfolio. I just wish my laptop worked so that I can get some of my work on there, because I don't have them on my computer. I also need to update my resume. CRAP!!

I just want to stop worrying and go on vacation or something. I hate being stressed out! I just want to sleep in, read, relax, go to the beach, even if it's just for a weekend! Mike is going to Hawaii this week and he'll be gone til the end of March. Lucky him! Even though it's for work and he'll be doing military training, still.. he gets to go out on his off time and go to the beach, have a few drinks.. all on the government's money! I wish Caleb and I could go. I don't know how I'm gonna do while Mike's gone and it's just me and Caleb. I might go crazy! I've already been overwhelmed even when Mike's home because he works so much, now I'm really gonna be in for it.

Anyway, that's my little update. Time needs to slow down a little. Btw, Caleb will be 2 months this week! It's amazing how time flies!

Love,
Tiare

99 Things...

This is just for fun. Here's a list of 99 things. Bold the ones you have done and post on your blog :)

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightening storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Love,
Tiare

Before I Was A Mom...

Okay, I didn't make this up but I saw it online and I love it so much.

Before I was a Mom,
I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom,
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom,
I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. Or pinched by tiny fingers. I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts, and my body. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Author: Unknown

Love,
Tiare

Workout Routine

So here is the weaksauce workout I started doing last week.

I haven't been doing cardio, and I'm not going to yet until I get my muscle endurance up. I just want to prep my muscles for heavier weight so that I can do more intense training down the road. Once I do that, then I'll start doing some cardio.

I do 3 sets of 12 reps for each exercise (except abs, I do 3 sets of 24.. yoga plank, I do that 3 times and hold for 30 sec each), and rest for 1 minute in between each set. Depending on how crowded the gym is, it takes about an hour total at the gym.

Monday- Chest/Triceps (chest press machine, dumbbell bench press, flyes machine, dumbbell triceps extension, triceps pushdown)
Tuesday- Back/Biceps (wide lat pull down, isolation row, seated cable rows, underhand pulldowns, alternate bicep curl, preacher curl, biceps cable curl)
Wednesday- Legs/Calves (leg press, leg extension machine, plate loaded squat, seated leg curl machine, standing calf raises, seated calf raise)
Thursday- Shoulders/Abs (dumbbell press, dumbbell front raise, side lateral raise, bent over deltoid raise, exercise ball crunch, air bike, hanging leg raises, yoga plank)
Friday- Rest
Saturday- Rest
Sunday- Rest

As far as eating goes, I measure everything whenever possible. I eat 4 meals a day (breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner). I take a multivitamin and fish oil everyday, along with other supplements.

Today is the start of week 2 and I've been resting for 3 days, so I'm so eager to hit the weights today!

Love,
Tiare