Look Who's 18 Months Old!

Well, to be exact, lil' man turned 18 months old last month.. lol. Here he is playing at an indoor playground I took him to. We went with a friend of mine & her daughter. He loved it there, lots of toys to play with.. didn't even care for the slides, lol. He loved playing basketball. I would lift him up in the air so that he could reach the hoop & he'd throw it in.

This was taken before his 18 month checkup. He's so cute. He talks a lot more now too. I'll have to make a video of him talking some day, if he ever lets me.. lol. Every time I hit record, he comes up to my phone & grabs it from me.. or he says "cheese!" thinking I'm taking a picture of him. He loves to take his own selfies, smh.. kids these days, lol. 

Caleb & his daddy, watching tv. Can't believe how big he's gotten. He's becoming such a little boy now. Where has my little baby gone!? 

Since it's getting late, I'm keeping this short.. just wanted a quick update. Kind of. Not really an update..? Just random.

Hugs,

Tiare

Ooohs and Aaahs

Finally caught a video of Caleb babbling. He does this every single time he's about to fall asleep. Who knows what he's saying. Maybe his prayers, lol. I had to sneak the camera, so that's why it's not in his face.. lol. He always seems to stop talking when all eyes are on him. 

Love,

Tiare

It's Alright

Dear Caleb,

Even though this has been the longest and hardest almost twelve weeks of my life, it's alright. There are still days when you scream for what seems like hours on end and I can feel the doubt, guilt, and anxiety creeping in, but when you look at me with your beautiful eyes, those moments of chaos and confusion seem to go away. Even though there are times when I have been puked on, peed on, and pooped on, it's alright because I'm your mom.. and that's what moms go through apparently, lol. Our house isn't as clean as I would like because I spend the majority of my day trying to calm you down. I try to remember that things will get better, hopefully.. lol. Even though my hands are dry and cracking from all of the washing of bottles and my hands, I reassure myself that I'm trying my best to keep you germ free. You create more dirty laundry than I ever thought possible. My back is breaking from the lifting, bending, and carrying. My world has been turned upside down and sideways by you being here, but it's alright. Things will fall into place eventually. Even if I question things, I know deep in my heart that it's all worth it.

Since the moment you arrived on this planet, our time together has been nothing like I thought it would be. You've been lots of trouble lately, lol :) But it's alright though, because I wouldn't trade one second of it for a different experience.

You have my heart tangled in your tiny baby fingers.

Love,

Your Mommy

Insomnia

I wonder why I couldn't sleep last night. I went to bed around 10:30, but I didn't close my eyes until about 1-2 in the morning. I tossed and turned for hours. I need more sleep. Caleb wakes up when the sun rises so I am up too. With that said, I can feel today is going to be a long day. I'll probably be cranky.

I miss sleep so much. You would think that taking care of a baby all day, that by the time I lay down I would be out like a light. Nope! I'm wide awake forcing myself to fall asleep.

I want to be in La la Land with Caleb too! Sheesh!

Love,
Tiare

2 Months and Some Change

He's in his 2nd month. Tomorrow he will be in college, and then 10 minutes after that we'll be at his wedding. Damn, this is crazy fast!

Weight: 11 lbs. 2 oz., but that was 5 days ago so who knows how much he weighs now.
Length: 22.5 in.
Eats: right now the flavor is Similac Organic, roughly 30.5 oz/day
Sleeps: during the day he sleeps for an hour or two at a time. nighttime? eh, he gets up every 3 to 4 hours at night. still sleeping in the bassinet in our room. we'll probably transition to a crib when we move back to Vegas.
Likes: going on car rides, playing in his swing, and in the play mat and batting at the toys, and a new found discovery of Justin Timberlake.
Dislikes: he really dislikes being gassy. he hates tummy time at times.
Milestones: awesome head control! smiles, but only sometimes.

Dear Caleb,

My, how time flies. I cannot believe that you are 2 months old. You get cuter and cuter every day. It has been a somewhat rough month, you've driven Mommy to tears many nights! It's just that Mommy feels so bad for you when you cry from any kind of pain :( 

You are growing so fast! You are almost too big for your bassinet. Right now you are still wearing mostly newborn clothes, but some things you are starting to wear in 0-3 and 3 month sizes. The footie pajamas, especially, are getting way too small for you. 

Mommy has been enjoying her time at home with you...but Mommy needs some "her time" so she can come back all refreshed and ready to play with you all over again. Mommy wishes she could stay home and play with you each and every day, but she also wants to stay sane, lol. Daddy wishes he could trade places with Mommy all the time, but he has to work a lot so that you can have everything you need. Soon, Mommy will be going to work too. Until that day comes, we'll just enjoy the time we have at home together. I know when you are older you will be proud that Daddy, especially, and Mommy worked so hard to give you a good life.

It's been a wonderful couple of months, my little baby boy, but stop growing up so fast, okay?

I love you more than you will ever know,

Mommy

Just Mommy and Caleb

Yesterday, Mike went to Hawaii for MTT. It was a sad morning for me and Caleb. Mike was probably happy to be leaving for Hawaii, lol. Even though it's for work, it's still a vacation to me. It's so weird that Mike isn't here. I hope the next 2 weeks that he's gone go by fast!

Caleb is 2 months and 2 days today. How fast is this going!? I need to take more pictures with my DSLR. It's just so inconvenient because my cell phone is always near me, so I just use that for taking pictures of him.

I've seen so many changes in Caleb over the last month. He is getting so big! I really want to know how much weight he's gained. We'll find out when we go to the doctor on Tuesday for his 2 month check up. Yay! His neck is getting a lot stronger. He holds his head up for a good amount of time now, but it's still funny when he gets too tired and all of a sudden his head goes down! Lol.

Bath time!!

Adorable!

Such a big boy

All ready to take daddy to the airport

First smile captured on camera! This makes me smile every time I look at it!

The most recent family picture we have, taken when my mom came to visit us last month

Lol, Caleb's so funny.

And this was when Mike's mom & brother came to visit us a week before my mom came. Look how tiny he was here and then only a week later he looks so big in the picture before this one! Didn't even notice that until just now!

So anyway, there goes the picture updates. 

Exercise update: I am still not down to pre-pregnancy weight. I still need to lose 7 pounds! I have to start taking walks! I wish I could continue to go to the gym, but since Mike's gone - I can't! I can't wait for him to get back so I can get on the elliptical. The past 3 weeks, I've been doing only weight training, trying to build muscle first before I burn any fat. The next 2 weeks, I'll have to work out at home. The gym on post does have a day care, but we don't want to trust anyone to Caleb. We've heard so many day care horror stories, or babies being sick and getting all the other babies sick too. So, I'll just suck it up and try to do as much as I can by exercising at home. Next week I'm going to start cardio, finally! I usually hate cardio, but I've been dying to do some to burn this damn fat off! Since I have no elliptical or treadmill, I'll have to take Caleb outside and go jogging/walking the old fashioned way!

Formula update: He's been eating about 4-5 ounces per feeding, ever since around 3 weeks. Hungry boy!! Sometimes he'll even eat 6-9 ounces in one feeding, lol. 

Just a little cuteness to end the blog with ;)

Love,

Tiare

Caleb's First Video!

Here's his first video...

Huge love,

Tiare

We've Come A Long Way, Baby!

7 months and 3 weeks!!! I'm almost 8 months pregnant!

It's getting hard to breathe. Caleb and my uterus are pushing on all the internal organs...cramping my lung space a little! It feels so fun when he's moving around...heehee. At first it felt like little bubbles popping in my stomach, or kind of like...little taps on your belly. Then as he's getting bigger...it feels like BIG ROLLING movements.

Lately at bedtime, my husband will build my little "fortress of solitude" with pillows around me so I can get comfy. It's not so fun though when I have to move a pillow out of the way a couple of times to get up and pee in the middle of the night. Caleb takes up a lot of room, including bladder space! Hahaha.

Love,
Tiare

Basketball In My Belly

It looks like I must have swallowed a basketball or something :)

It's hard to believe I've got another 9 to 10 weeks of stretching left to do!

XOXO,

Tiare

P.S.

I love Caleb like crazy!

Whoa. Where Does Time Go???

70...that's how many days there are until my due date. Holy crap! I don't think we were ever really prepared for how fast time actually goes. I don't know if it will ever feel real until Caleb comes.

I'm eager to meet this little guy, but at the same time it's overwhelming to think of how life will change once he's here...

Mike and I will experience being parents to a baby for the first time; I can't wait to see Mike interact with our son, but at the same time I don't know how he'll be with the constant attention Caleb will need from both of us, especially in the beginning. I'm not super nervous about it, but a little worried because for the time we've been together, we've been able to have a lot of "us time" and get away once in a while.

And truthfully, it's hard for me to imagine how I'll adjust. How do you love two equally? How do you give a precious baby enough attention plus your husband plus get everything accomplished that you need to? I already try to do as much as I can around the house at this point and I need to ask for help more than I do, so I will definitely have to ask Mike to pitch in more with dishes and other household stuff, even though my instinct is to try to take care of everything around the house. We'll be moving back to Vegas next year, so the baby will be about four to six months old once I get back into looking for work. Then, I know it'll be SO hard to leave Caleb because I'll be quite used to being a stay-at-home mommy. I guess that's life though.

Love,
Tiare

[Update]*
Forgot to mention, my results for the fibronectin test came back negative... so everything is okay. So it's pretty safe (99% sure) to say I won't be going into labor within the next 2 weeks. Also, the 3 hour glucose test results came back normal... so, yay! No gestational diabetes. High five! ;)

I've been pregnant for...

186 days! I can't believe it, and how fast the time has gone. Only 94 days to go. Looking back to that Monday at the end of May when we found out, it seems like so long ago.

Anyway, I wanted to write another note to baby Caleb!

To our darling little Caleb...

We can't wait to welcome you into this big world. Although we really aren't prepared just yet, we are certainly getting anxious to meet you soon. You love to move around around bedtime, and sometimes after breakfast. Sometimes you feel the need to kick me a few times really hard, but I don't mind as that eases my fears and lets me know that you are doing just fine in there. When you kick for your daddy, his face lights up every time like it's the first time he's felt you.

We wonder about you all the time. Will you have your daddy's eyes or my eyes? Will you have lots of wavy hair? Curly hair? What kind of boy will you be? If you're anything like your daddy, we are in for some fun! You will be outgoing, and keep us all on our toes with your adventures and jokes. We'll be telling crazy stories about you for years to come. If you are like me, you'll be a little more reserved, a bit more shy and quiet. Or maybe you'll be the perfect combination of the two of us, a little wild with a soft side.

I wonder what sports you'll love to play and how you'll do in school. I hope I can be the one to teach you how to ride your bike without training wheels for the first time. I hope I can be the kind of mom that makes REAL good school lunches, lets you stay up late on special occasions, and reads to you every night before bed no matter how busy I may be.

I can't wait to share your first holidays and your first birthday and create traditions over the years as our little family. I can't wait to cheer for you in the stands as you make your first touchdown in football or basket in basketball or home run in baseball. You are ours to enjoy for years and years to come.

Though we haven't met, I love you already. I know my love for you can only grow, and I'm excited for that. I'm excited to meet you. Mommy will always be your biggest supporter, your number one fan, and your greatest admirer.

Love,
Your Mommy 
XOXO

Dear Baby.

I am thrilled to announce the baby's name (in case you haven't been reading my blogs. I have slipped his name a few times, ooops) Anyway, we are calling him...

Caleb Amana Johnson

Caleb was a name that we both loved (although I was kind of on the fence about it, but Mike made me grow to love it). We went through tons of names, it kept changing. We were this close to choosing Ethan or Nathan. Amana, is after my great grandpa's first name, & my dad's middle name. It means "warrior" in Hawaiian. He truly is our little warrior.

Okay, back to the real intention of this blog post. I wanted to write a sweet note to baby Caleb!

Dear Baby,

Caleb, in a few short months you will be here and that is almost hard to believe. I have waited to meet you, and now it's nearly time. I hope we are everything you could have ever imagined in parents. I know you will be everything we have ever in a million years dreamed of. 

I hope you learn - that mommy and daddy will try our best. We love you and your brother more than anyone else in the entire world. No matter what.

I hope you aren't afraid of - taking chances, no matter how big or scary they might be. You can do anything you set your mind to. You're never alone.

I hope you love - yourself and every piece of who you are, no matter what anyone could ever say to you or about you. You are perfect; in your own way. There will never be another you. Oh, and I hope you love football (especially playing football) as much as your daddy does. He's already thinking about the high schools and colleges you could possibly play for.

I hope you get - to see every inch of this world, with or without us.

I hope you laugh - at the hard times and struggles you may endure. Never let them crush your dreams.

I hope you never forget - to enjoy every aspect of life - beautiful or not.

I hope you ignore - and steer clear from all the evils in this world, along with the people who will bring you down just to watch you suffer. Choose your friends and actions wisely, young one.

I hope you become - exactly everything you ever want to be.

I hope you respect - that even though you may not always agree with me and daddy, we love you more than anything in this universe and will always be here to protect, guide, love, and see you through anything.

I hope you grow - in every possible way a person should.

I cannot wait to meet you (when you're ready), love you, and watch you grow. I have never felt such overpowering love inside of my heart since I was pregnant with your brother. You are the only one who knows my love for you, you are the only one who has heard my heart beat from the inside. You are my baby, you'll always be my little boy - no matter how old you may grow, may you never forget that.

Love,

Mommy