In April of 2011, we were thrilled to find out that we were expecting our first baby. Devastatingly, on September 01, our son Micheal Cortez Jr. was born at 23 weeks old and lived for just several minutes.
In May of 2012, we found out we were pregnant again. Our handsome son, Caleb Amana, is due to arrive on February 08, 2013 and we could not be more in love with him. We are truly lucky!
While pregnant after a loss, I didn't think it was possible to become any more doubtful. I thought I was cautious last time...this time I was 20x more cautious and felt as if I was always "knocking on wood." Throughout this pregnancy, I would say to myself "I am pregnant and I love my baby." Then I would realize...well, what happens if I lose this baby too? So I also started saying to myself "I will bring this baby home." Then I would think of how I brought our first son home in ashes and clarified: "I will bring this baby home ALIVE." And then I would remember Mike and think, "I'd better say 'we' to clarify. We will bring this baby home alive." And then I would realize that I was pretty much tempting fate to give me a baby with health problems, so I started to think, "Okay, I need to add 'healthy' in there. This baby will stay alive and healthy."
I think it's clear that Caleb gave me OCD during this pregnancy.
I am pregnant.
I love my baby.
This baby will stay alive and healthy.
Love,
Tiare
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