5 Things I Am Excited About
1) Breastfeeding. I really hope things work out for me with nursing (I know they don't always) because ever since even before I even thought about getting pregnant, I have been wanting to breastfeed. I know it might hurt and I know it won't be easy, but if it does go well, just the thought of going through this experience makes me already feel a bond.
2) Baby-wearing. Like breastfeeding, I just can't wait to hold Caleb against my body. I want a carrier. Thinking of having him tucked on me with free hands sounds like a great concept - at least when he's little!
3) Looking at him. And him looking at me! And more specifically, finding out who he looks like! Well actually, we know he looks like Mike.. but we don't know what his hair is like! Or his eyes! How will he change as he gets older? What will his personality be like? I can't wait to find out!
4) Playing with dad. It seems like Mike gets a little more excited with each day that passes. I can't wait to see him play with Caleb. They always say that moms becomes moms the moment she finds out she's pregnant, but dads don't become dads until the baby is born, and I'm eager to see what it's like to have him hold Caleb in his arms.
5) Baby gear. Swing, swaddle blankets, clothes, etc. Baby stuff is so cute! I think I'll be obsessed with buying stuff for Caleb.
5 Things I Am Nervous About
1) The lifestyle adjustment. Whenever I've hung out with a baby or babysat, I had a lot of fun, but I have to admit I'm relieved when the parents are home again and I can just give the baby back. From my perspective right now, I think the hardest part of motherhood is that it's never ending. And I imagine that gets exhausting. But I'm also hoping that I will just be so in love with Caleb that maybe I won't mind at all :) As far as things like going out to dinner and hanging with our friends, Mike and I are determined to keep as much of our lifestyle going as possible. Maybe not right away, but certainly when we get in a good routine. I think it just takes a good amount of planning and determination to keep your social life going.
2) That something will go wrong. I tend to worry about things too much. I keep my fears tucked in the back of my mind just to remind myself they're possible, but try to be very optimistic in general. I'm nervous that something will go wrong with labor and delivery or Caleb's health. Nothing is predictable.
3) The messes. I have to admit I'm scared of food, or worse, shit (literally, poop), smeared all over our house. And toys everywhere. And just a sense of chaos at home. I'm mentally prepared for it (I think!) because I know kids are messy. I'm terrified of the day when he throws up in bed in the middle of the night. (throw up is worse than poop if you ask me. I can't stand the smell of vomit, it makes me want to vomit). Things WILL be smeared in nooks and crannies and all over Caleb and me, and I'm sure while I'm nursing, milk will go everywhere too. I'll just have to learn to live with it - and get a good cleaning routine in place!
4) Work. While being a stay at home wife, I've become quite used to it. When we move back to Vegas, I'm going to find a job. I don't really know what will happen when I have to leave Caleb to go to work. I just have no idea what to expect, and the last thing I want is to feel totally overwhelmed with work and learning to be a mom. Nervous.
5) Baby #2. No plans for one yet (we'd like to wait a couple of years) and no certainty we will have another, but I'm already thinking how much harder pregnancy would be with a toddler to chase after! Totally not something I should be worrying about right now, but it's crossed my mind. It's been just us two for so long, two is turning into 3 (4 or 5 if dogs make their way in! Mike wants at least 2 dogs!) quicker than I realize.
Love,
Tiare
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